Category Archives: podcasts

loving: with an eating disorder

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anorexia.

bulimia.

depression.

self harm.

all just words, but mean so much more.

labels that society has given you.

labels that society has given me.

labels that you carry for the rest of your life and try to hide with smiles.

labels that you try and hide through accomplishments.

labels that you try and hide through social conformity.

you think that looking like everyone else will solve your problems.

will ease your pain.

that somehow being “pretty” and “skinny” will fill the emptiness you feel inside.

emptiness currently filled by disappointment and self-hate.

that somehow you will finally feel loved.

because right now, you don’t.

you have forgotten what it feels like to love yourself.

all you know is hate.

all you know is disgust.

“if you lose 5 more pounds you’ll be the right size to deserve self-love.”

“if you are the skinniest girl in the room, your friends will love you more.”

“if you pretend to be happy, your parents will finally love you.”

however, you’re not alone.

you aren’t the only one who thinks like this.

according to the dove real beauty campaign:

75% of girls have truthfully reported to have low self-esteem.

only 25% feel positive about herself.

because of this, many girls stop doing activities they once loved.

they feel they aren’t worthy and don’t look good enough to dance or cheer anymore.

they base their self-worth in their jean size.

they base their self-worth in the reflection in the mirror.

underneath the trophies, the good grades and the homecoming queen sash:

we’re all the same.

we’re all desperately searching for love.

not just love from others, though:

self-love.

for some of you struggling with an eating disorder, recovery seems so far away.

recovery seems impossible.

recovery seems scary.

exactly one year ago, i began my own personal journey towards recovery.

towards freedom from my own battle with anorexia.

towards the hope of one day truly loving myself.

one year ago, i decided i was worth it.

one year later, i know i am.

recently, i sat down with a recovered bulimic.

during our interview, she talked about wanting to look like the pretty, skinny girls in school and how she eventually developed her bulimia in 8th grade.

through the entire ordeal, all she wanted was to be perfect.

she hated herself and felt her parent’s love was dependent on her successes.

yet, after many years of hard work, she beat her bulimia.

now she loves herself and knows she is loved by others.

but for every story of recovery, there is still someone suffering.

someone is still battling with self-hate, self-harm and starvation.

someone is still searching for self-worth.

but it doesn’t have to end like this.

there is always hope for recovery.

if you, or someone you know, are ready to take the first steps towards eating disorder recovery, please click on the link.

you are worth love.

you are worth happiness.

you are worth life.

you are beautiful.

you deserve to love yourself.

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